


Ache

by Semi_problematic



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, M/M, Needy carl, and like it or not negan misses his carl, he just misses his negan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2018-02-28
Packaged: 2019-03-25 00:55:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13823067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Semi_problematic/pseuds/Semi_problematic
Summary: It was wrong. Carl knew that. He knew it every morning and every night and every minute in between. He knew it wasn't okay, but that didn't stop him.He missed Negan. He missed the asshole that bashed two of his friends skulls in. He missed the dick that did nothing but make their lives harder then say they should thank him for it. He missed his stupid grin and the way he was so casual with the world around him, like he was made for it. He missed his smart ass comments and the way he would look at him. Carl just missed Negan. And it fucking sucked.





	Ache

It was wrong. Carl knew that. He knew it every morning and every night and every minute in between. He knew it wasn't okay, but that didn't stop him. 

He missed Negan. He missed the asshole that bashed two of his friends skulls in. He missed the dick that did nothing but make their lives harder then say they should thank him for it. He missed his stupid grin and the way he was so casual with the world around him, like he was made for it. He missed his smart ass comments and the way he would look at him. Carl just missed Negan. And it fucking sucked.

Carl tried to ignore it. He went out on runs and played with Judith. He cleaned the house and helped everyone out with laundry. He would organize something then reorganize it. Hell, he would go out beyond the wall and hunt zombies. But no matter what he did or how long he did it, he would think of Negan.

Carl felt guilty about it, he had since the first time Negan and him did anything other than argue and threaten each others lives. He didn't want to like him and he tried so hard to stop it once it began, but nothing helped. When Negan came around his heart raced so fast he was worried he needed a doctor. That something oh so terrible had happened and that he was sick. But Carl had heard enough love songs in his life to know what it meant. Like it or not, he liked Negan. 

A small part of Carl didn't feel guilty, though. A small part of him told him to indulge in this. To bask in the kisses and the praise. To adore the attention and only ask for more. Part of him said that he deserved it after so many years of feeling isolated and alone. So Carl did. He indulged in each kiss, he kept each word Negan said to him tucked away in his mind. 

As of now, Negan was out with a bunch of the Saviors, looking for whatever supplies they could find and take. That meant as he traveled town to town looking, he also tore through camps and ruined other people's lives. Carl hated that part of him. The part of him that was careless and mean. He hoped he could change it, like some silly little girl. Maybe he could be the one to fix it all.

Missing Negan was hard, but the feelings he felt when Negan came back were worse. The happiness. The love. The way he ran into his arms and he smiled. Negan had control over him without even trying, maybe without even noticing. Carl hated it. He hated himself for feeling it and he hated Negan for making him feel it.

When the gates of Alexandria opened and trucks rolled in, the tip of Lucille poking out of one of the windows, Carl felt excitement fill his body. He tried not to let it show, keeping a straight face matched with a glare as Negan rolled past. He complained with everyone else, calling Negan the worst of the worst and how he was nothing but a stealing coward.

But god, god once Carl got him alone in a house that had been empty for so long, he wrapped his arms around Negan and held him so tight Negan grunted. He buried his face in Negans chest and closed his eye, digging his nails into Negans skin. Negans arms slowly wrapped around Carl, squeezing him back. He pressed his face to Carls hair and just stood there. They stayed like that for a few moments, taking in the fact that they were both still there, or more importantly, that they cared that the other was still around.

Negan chuckled, pulling away first, Carls nails digging in harder for a few more moments. "Missed me a lot, huh?"

Carl scoffed, backing up. Negan couldn't be the only one distancing himself. If Carl didn't do the same it was obvious there were feelings. And those were not allowed. "Missed your dick."

"And not my mouth?" Negan smirked. "Because last time I checked, you loved all the things can do."

"I like it when its kissing me or has my dick in it. Not when words are coming out." Carl pushed past him, slamming his shoulder into Negans in the process. "We need to go before people notice-" 

"It's been ten minutes and you got all these people wrapped around your finger." Carl took Negans hand, slipping his middle finger into his mouth and sucking. He looked up at Negan, batting his eye.

Negan cleared his throat, pushing his finger down onto Carls tongue. He straightened up and pulled his finger out of his mouth, rubbing his finger across Carls lips, smearing the spit across them. They shined like girly lip gloss. "Just like you got me, kiddo."

"We do need to go." Carl opened the door and stepped out. Without turning around or missing a beat he continued to speak. "People will notice."

"Playing hard to get?" Negan looked Carl up and down, following him out of the house. He didn't bother closing the door. Carl didn't reply or turn around, but Negan didn't need to see his face to know he was smirking. "That's sexy."

"Yeah?" Carl asked, glancing over his shoulder. "Don't care."

"What?" Negan wasn't as mad as his voice made him sound. He was just feeding into the chase. He couldn't help himself. Negan was addicted to the thrill.

"Don't live to please you." Carl smiled. "Don't live to make your dick hard and don't live to get you off."

"Then why do you live?" Negans voice was softer now. There was no tease hidden beneath his words.

"To beat this world." Carl stuffed his hands into his pockets, heading down the road.

Negan stopped walking and watched him. Admired him. "You sure as hell will, kid. You sure will."


End file.
